2010 Recap



As I sit around the house today listening to Abbigail growling, gurgling, and finding her voice, I can't help but think back over this past year. What a crazy whirlwind of a year it's been, really a crazy 2 years! Last year it seems it was one thing after the next. First we found out we would need to see a fertility specialist, then my dad had a heart attack followed by open heart surgery. Just when we found a specialist we liked; we found out I had to have unexpected surgery which pushed back our in vitro plans. Then in vitro.....that in and of itself was a big, tiring, happy, exciting, scary, frustrating, ordeal. Then....... the waiting. Did it work? Are we pregnant? Am I getting these nightly shots for nothing or is there a little one already growing? December..........drumroll please........YAY a positive test we were officially pregnant.
2010 began with smiles on our faces and a new bounce in our step as we began the year of preparation for Abbigail's arrival. Which brings us to this years' devotional I wrote for our church advent book:

Being Refined: No one said it would be easy.
"For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver." Psalm 66:10

As another year comes to a close, I find myself looking back over the last 12 months and evaluating all that transpired. If you are like me, you think about the happy memories first and then let your mind drift to the memories that cause you to wince a little. Maybe it's the loss of a family member or friend, the loss of a job, a "valley" that you had to walk through or are still walking through. We can all recognize that each year brings change, a refining process if you will.

Change is defined as: to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone. Refine is defined as: to bring to a fine or pure state; free from impurities.

This year I find myself recalling one of the most wonderful changes and adventures I've ever experienced; pregnancy. Each day brought about change for my growing daughter and it reflected on the outside of my growing tummy! The change often brought a lot of discomfort with morning sickness, little sleep, headaches, back aches, foot aches, swollen ankles and stretch marcks. The wondeful thing is that now I'm on the other side of the change, I remember it was uncomfortable but I find I remember it with fondness. The little kicks in the middle of the night, hiccups that made my tummy bounce, even tiny fingers tickling my ribs! It's amazing! Once the change is complete, once we are able to see the beauty that can come from discomfort, we quickly forget how painful it was to get to the end.

As this year ends, I can't help but think about our Refiner, what He desires for us, and the process through which we will pass to comply with His desires. Gold and silver don't refine themselves. They are filled with impurities that are inherently there. Only a Refiner can put them in the fire, work out the impurities, heat, bend and reshape the material. There is a reason this process is referred to so often in scripture. We cannot refine ourselves; we cannot bring about the change that Christ wants for our lives on our own. We are inherently riddled with imperfections.

This year I don't want to make resolutions with the intention of bringing about change that I think I need; change that I think I can accomplish in my own power to look better, feel better, be better. I want to begin the year acknowledging that only God can bring about change that matters. Going through change is never easy. The day to day refining often causes us to wince a little and feel uncomfortable. But when the changes are complete, when the end has come, we are left with a miracle. You may ask, "What miracle?" The miracle, that God can take us, all broken and filthy, and bring beauty.

I encourage you to embrace this new year and the chang ethat God will bring into your life. Allow Him to refine you, rather than trying to shine yourself up. I'm confident that His changes will accomplish much greater things and last much longer than any change you can make yourself!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TInqJ5NJrXc&feature=related