Devotional

I was asked to contribute to your church devotional book again this year. We hand this out over the holidays to our members and guests. I was honored to be asked again to contribute but nervous to think about what God might have me share. Below is the devotional or conversation rather, that I wrote for this years' book.

Who do you cling to? Who do you put your hope in?

What a year! If this were a year to ask the question, "who do you cling to?", this would be it! In our country alone we’ve witnessed the downward spiral of our economy; needless killing sprees of college campuses and military bases; the continued war in Iraq that claims more peoples lives each day; and so on. In our very own church family we’ve struggled through the loss of jobs, the loss of family members, the financial strains our families and church are under, and the list goes on and on. I beg the question, who do you put your hope in?

It was Saturday, I had the day off and had vowed to spend the entire day in my jammies, in bed, watching movies. The phone rang and I remember feeling irritated because I was in the middle of the movie. It was mom, dad was having all these symptoms – it was all a blur but I remember switching into "professional mode" and telling her what to do; dad was having a heart attack…... I’d be there as soon as I could get there. I hung up the phone and switched back into daughter mode, running around the house to pack and screaming out loud for God to save his life, he wasn’t done here yet. I’ve never pleaded with God more than I did that day.

The following months brought open heat surgery and more emotions than I can put into words. I tend to find songs that put into words my emotions during different times in my life. During this period it was a Seventh Day Slumber song that says, "I’m barely hanging on, with all these empty feelings. I’m hurting in so many ways. And though I can’t pretend, to understand your reasons. I still belive that you’re God!". Everything was out of my hands, out of my control, I could only cling to God.

As summer hit, I was still making frequent trips to WV to help Dad and Mom. He was recovering, his spirits were up, but the setbacks kept happening. He still had a lot of fluid in his right lung because his heart was functioning well below that of a normal healthy heart. We also found out that our chances of conceiving without intervention were next to impossible, and the words "in vitro" were brought into our lives. Other life stressors were thrown into the mix and I found myself starting to feel like I was going to just break under the weight. So many times in life it’s easier to try and "handle" things on our own than give them to God. As the weight kept loading me down, God gently reminded me that I wasn’t meant to carry it alone. My "theme" song as the summer months passed was also a Seventh Day Slumber song that simply says, "I surrender, all to you, all to you". Do you have things in your life that you need to surrender?

Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls". Matthew 11: 28 - 29

Early fall started and things felt like they were settling back into a "normal" rhythm, or what was to be considered normal now. Then we heard the words, heart transplant, and normalcy went flying out the window. Dad’s heart was not improving, at all. There was just too much damage from the heart attack. He’s to be put on the transplant list. Next we had unexpected surgery for me as we were getting ready to do in-vitro. And the weight on my shoulders felt like it just piled right back on. I felt hopeless. It’s amazing how Satan LOVES to remind us of all the stress and things that are happening that just don’t seem "fair". It steers our focus on a path of self pity and defeat, instead of steering our focus to the One who is the conqueror. To the One who can give us comfort and strengthen our grip, so we can plant our feet and hang on!! Do you feel hopeless? Do you feel like you have nothing or no one to hang onto?

"Then you will know that I am the Lord, those who hope in me will not be disappointed."

Isaiah 49:23b

Winter, we’re hanging on. Our feet are planted, and we’re awaiting to see what God is going to do. We’re standing firm that God is not done with us yet. We’ve prayed and are praying for healing of Dad’s heart. After claiming healing for dad, his lung has no fluid in it. For the first time since the surgery, the fluid is gone!! I find myself smiling and saying aloud, I am amazed by you Lord! We are moving forward with in-vitro in a matter of weeks, knowing that God has guided us this far and will not leave us. 2010 may bring a healed heart and new babies, or it may not. But it most assuredly will bring another year where Christ reveals himself, where He cares for His children, where He once again proves Himself to be one worth clinging to.

So I ask you, who do you cling to? Who do you place your hope in? I choose to place my trust in the Lord. I choose to cling to Christ. I choose to plant my feet on the solid rock.

Do you?

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging." Psalm 46:1 - 3